To Croydon today. Described by the Guardian as "kafkaesque", "hell on earth", and "redtape central", I've been dreading the trip to the Home Office.  It was hard enough getting the home office to tell me where I needed to be over the phone.  After being patronized several times on the phone by the home office secretaries and told that I needed to go to the office in Liverpool ... "but they don't do settlement applications in Liverpool it says on your webpage", "...then sorry, we can't help you *click*", I finally got help from the Los Angeles British Consulate who told me to go to Croydon.

What I found when I got there at 9 am was a huge queue that mazed around under a big filthy plastic tent.  They had those metal monkey bar looking things like when your waiting for a roller coaster, except this was excruciating rather than exciting.  This man waiting two people up from me had tourettes or something because he was yelling at people about something boring, I don't remember.  Unfortunately not all of the people spoke English so he was really freaking people out.  By the time we got to the front of the line and through the metal detector I was told that we were there too early and they couldn't process my application.  I tried arguing with her a little, as did Nigel, but that was that.  Inefficiency at it's worst.  That's probably when our mobile phones were stolen as well.  I have never felt so defeated.  Nigel was a super husband under the circumstances.  "We're not coming to Croydon again" he said, "we'll do this through the British Embassy in America".  Rightly so, because last time I talked to the British Embassy in LA they called the Home Office "heartless" and "cruel".  So LA is where I'll be going.

crowded and stressed liverpool street station midday

The rest of the day turned out pretty well.  We went back to Nigel's friend Peter's flat where he was home for lunch and gave us a couple of well needed bottles of Budvar.  His friend let us stay there in his cool flat all three days which was very nice.  It was fun to stay with someone who knew the area and who could show us around.  It was also fun to be staying within walking distance of Spitalfields market and Brick Lane where we had some nice curry.

After our experience in the morning we decided to be London tourists for the rest of the day.  We went to some trendy bookstores in soho where I got my japanese design fix and then to Neal's Yard for some cheese.  The girl behind the counter seemed genuinely upbeat, which rubbed off on me a bit.  She let us sample of bit of her favorite cheese, Crozier Blue.  So we bought some of that and then went to the Australia Shop where I loaded up on Violet Crumble and Vegemite "Snackabouts".  An Australian girl who'd obviously been living in britain for a while was freaking out over all the things they had from home.  "Oh my god, Tim Tams!, I don't like them, but there it is!".  How sweet.  We left there and went to the Texas Embassy.  Just a short 30 minute walk away.

It's always strange visiting the texas embassy during the day when you can look outside and see Londoners and tourists bustling around.  On the radio they played more texas music, this time Willie Nelson: "...that's where i want to be, the only place for me, where my spirit can be free... texas".  Too weird for me.  After a couple of hill country peach margaritas we were out of there and over to the National Gallery. 

I'm glad that Nigel looks at art gallerys the same way that I do. When I was a kid I always felt that I had to spend time looking at every painting, otherwise I was missing something, or not "cultured".  Nigel and I picked a few paintings we both liked and looked at those only.  Any other way of looking at art that day would have made me crazy as I was already beat.

We stopped off at a coffee shop before retiring to Nigel's friend's flat.  The people making my coffee were a couple of japanese cuties.  "Sorry we've only got a large cup, you'll have to take a large" they said.  "Um... that's OK, I mean, thanks...?".   They were so friendly.  People today were generally very friendly to Nigel and I.  More so than in Leeds I'd say.  Just as long as we stay the fuck away from Croydon.

eating - spaghetti pete made

drinking - hoegarden