This has just gone a bit too far. One of my favorite British comedians Hugh Laurie is starring as a serious American actor in a night time drama.

From better times with brilliant comedy partner Stephen Fry:


These days we're serious American actors:


I thought I'd get used to it, especially after his American accent in Stuart Little, but I just cannot. It's like seeing David Niven in Baywatch or something.

It makes me sad to watch American Idol, all these people with hopes and dreams to become corporate puppets. Plus none of them will ever hold a candle to Norway's Pop Idol Kurt Nilsen.  

One thing that I have been amused by, and have wanted to write about since I have moved back to the US is the amazing variety of orange juices in America. I first noticed it three years ago on a fortnight-long visit to the states in the summer. I am not a pulp lover, and so I was pleased to find that every variety of OJ had "no pulp". That was great, and then I noticed that one brand had "no pulp" and "low acid". Yay, choice within a choice. I do not usually drink OJ, but if it is going to be made specifically with my needs (oj needs?) I will. There are now a ridiculous combination of choices of OJ on our shelves at the local HEB. I am pretty confident that some of them are the same on the inside, but with outrageous claims on the packaging. Remember when toothpaste was like this, when they were putting sparkles, and that kind of shit in there... this market seems to have slowed down (with the exception of the Extreme Clean). Can it get any more extreme? I am predicting Extreme OJ in the next few years. I want it to have never touched pulp and to whiten my teeth. Maybe throw some sparkles in there, why not.
So to get on with my story, today in HEB I saw a lady using divination to choose her OJ. She was hanging a crystal pendulum over the Orange Juices to choose the best one. For scrying out loud.

Happy Valentines Day.

Had a confusing conversation at work today. An enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in an enigma. It reminded me of this conversation from The Court Jester:

Danny Kaye: The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true, right?

Mildred Natwick: Right, but there's been a change. They ... broke the chalice from the palace.

Danny Kaye: They ... broke the chalice from the palace?

Mildred Natwick: ... and replaced it with a flagon.

Danny Kaye: A flagon?

Mildred Natwick: ... with a figure of a dragon.

Danny Kaye: A flagon with a dragon.

Mildred Natwick: RIGHT.

Danny Kaye: But, did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?

Mildred Natwick: Noooo, the pellet with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon, the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

Danny Kaye: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

Mildred Natwick: Just remember that.

Danny Kaye: Yes, thank you very much.

Why not try watching out for skunks on the road to St. Custards, the drive already bums me out a little bit, that'd be great, thanks.

I go shopping at Central Market at night in a leopard print jacket and pay for my tabbouli with hundreds, but I can afford it because I sell quarters on ebay for $100.

I used to like Eminem a long time ago, but his last few songs have really been crap. In his latest song he samples (well pretty much uses through the whole song) Martika's "Toy Soldiers". I have no problem with his songs being crap, I mean I can just listen to something else, but please don't drag one of my favorite songs from my childhood down with you. And while I'm at it, what do you think of Gwen Stefani sampling from Fiddler on the Roof? She is a rich girl, I don't get it, she can just go out and buy Vivienne Westwood. Go sample something else guys...
But I must admit that I like Britney Spears "My perogative" better than Bobby Browns. She's got a much sexier perogative and she's not in an abusive relationship with Whitney Houston...